I started my page with the usual layer of gesso to prep and strengthen the paper and then my latest favorite Dry Dex Spackle and my absolutely favorite Crafters Workshop template with swirls. I love the texture of the spackle and how it goes on pink then turns white when it is dry. Helps with my impatience as I actually can tell when it is truly ready to add color and other elements. I think I like the swirls because they represent my swimming thoughts and behaviors, they run in all different directions and in circular motion which is often how my emotions feel when I am working on these issues.
My next step was to add background color. I started with a full coat of black gesso smeared on with a credit card. Next I dripped on various colors of acrylic paints which I smeared into the wet black gesso with my fingers - yes...very messy but I am very tactile and love to get into the feel of everything I do. On top of the drip and smear I added some spray inks.
Obviously the next step will be to lighten things up a bit so everything doesn't get lost in the blackness. In order to do this I add some white gesso scraped on with the credit card while the mists were still wet. The paint layers were getting a bit thick and the texture was getting lost so I rolled over it all with paper towels.
I added some gold Perfect pearls for highlighting as well as a red doily heart torn in two, a little girl with a face of me as a child and the chains on each side of the heart showing the pulling apart. I finished it off with splats of red to represent blood and blue to represent tears. I then smeared those with the credit card. I am not happy with the page but I don't know what else I would want to add other than possibly some words.
Yes...the words have it. I tried a White Sharpie Paint Pen but did not do well with it and ended up with gesso and a paint brush. It is messy and rough but as the feelings and the whole page is so raw it probably suits it much better than neat lettering would have.
Not one of my favorite pages but it is full of raw emotion and that is one way of getting the pain out.